BEAUTY SHOP TALK

by

Vicki Charmaine Bunch

You probably saw it on the front page of the Rattler. LaVerne Bloodworth is back in town. The warden let her out for a few days on good behavior.

Regular readers will recall that LaVerne went to jail for felony theft after she and her ex-con boyfriend, Earnest Twitty, stole the Axel High School band instruments. Always the supportive mother, LaVerne commited the crime to get even when her daughter Misty Dawn lost homecoming queen to Lacy Davis.

You can never do enough to please a mother who would kill to see you win, so naturally Misty's a nervous wreck. Lucky for her, the whole town has rallied around her. Nobody wants to see bloodshed.

Several of LaVerne's friends from the bowling alley organized a Welcome Home, LaVerne parade. She was supposed to ride down Main Street on the front of Marydell Baxter's front loader, but the parade got rained out. It's the thought that counts.

Whenever she wrote her mother in Huntsville, Misty wove a web of deceit. She knew LaVerne couldn't handle the awful truth--that her daughter, a twenty-two year old spinster, is living in the back of the beauty shop, giving manicures and making earrings in her spare time. All those baby pageants and twirling lessons down the tube--LaVerne would blow a gasket.

You can't blame Misty for telling her mama she's a big local celeb. LaVerne's a ticking time bomb and, like I said, this town doesn't need any more violence. They were just little white lies. She told her mother she's on Bowling for Burritos, and said that she's the spokesmodel for Letha's Rent-to-Own.

The whole town's involved in an elaborate charade, which just proves that Axel truly is "the little city with a big heart," as it says on the sign coming into town.

Minnie Ledbetter loaned Misty her debutante dress from 1958, a testament to the kind of human decency that straddles social class. Tiny Mae Smith donated three dozen glazed donuts from the Bee Hive Bakery. And when Milton Weid volunteered to let Misty drive her mother around in the bowling alley van it was enough to restore anybody's faith in humanity.

Love thy neighbor is alive and well in Axel, Texas.

And, believe you me, nobody appreciates that more than Misty, who somehow did not inherit the mind of a criminal. Isn't it funny how LaVerne, who made a living off cock fighting, which is technically a crime in the state of Texas, ended up with such a good-hearted kid? And the rest of us--who have never served hard time--are raising con men and racketeers?