10 WAYS TO GET ARRESTED THIS SUMMER

Delivery of glue to a minor.

Failure to display your Sexually Oriented Business Permit right beside the front door of your topless bar.

Skydiving nude into The Ballpark.

Strolling through Old Westover with a jam box and a bottle of malt liquor.

Abuse of a corpse.

Bragging about your Bass Assassin fishing lure during intermission at Phantom.

Jaywalking in front of the old courthouse while delivering gifts to a public servant.

Leaning against the wall surrounding Sid Bass' house while you tie your shoe.

Tampering with ID numbers.

Falsely holding oneself out as a lawyer while skinny dipping at River Crest Country Club.